People with bipolar disorder deserve love — the same love as everyone else. It’s important to realize this if you have bipolar disorder, yes, but it’s important that everyone else realize that truism too. Love isn’t something that is reserved for the perfect or the able, love is something that humans get to feel, period. Learn more about why I know that people with bipolar disorder deserve love.

Why Do People Think Those with BIpolar Don’t Deserve Love?

The whole reason this article matters is that there is a belief in some that people with bipolar disorder don’t deserve love. There are two groups of people who sometimes think this: those with bipolar disorder and those without bipolar disorder.

I know it might seem odd to think that people with bipolar disorder think they don’t deserve love but this is an element of either self-stigma or depression. Self-stigma is the stigma (prejudice) against mental illness that those with bipolar disorder often internalize. This makes sense. We all live in the same society — whether you have bipolar disorder or not. And in that society, bipolar disorder is often looked down on and that reality is internalized by everyone. Some of us outgrow that as people, but many of us struggle with it, even when we have bipolar disorder ourselves. Also, if you are experiencing bipolar depression, you may experience low self-esteem to the point where you feel you don’t deserve love. This is a symptom of the illness, however, and not a fact.

As for people without bipolar disorder, they can look down upon people with bipolar disorder primarily for two reasons: societal prejudice (stigma) against mental illness and negative personal experiences. As I said, we all grow up in the same society and while many of us realize that prejudice against those with bipolar disorder is wrong, some people internalize the prejudice and are either fine with it or don’t even know it. Ask someone if they want to be in a relationship with a person with bipolar disorder, however, you will learn the truth. That one medical issue can make a person undesirable. And as for negative personal issues, that can happen with anyone, but when the negative experience happens with a person with bipolar disorder, the bipolar disorder tends to be blamed whether the mental illness has anything to do with it or not.

People with BIpolar Disorder Do Deserve Love, However

The thing is, no matter what camp you fall into above, you’ve fallen victim to faulty thinking. You’re believing a lie. It might be a lie that society has told you or one that your own brain has told you, but it’s a lie nonetheless. People with bipolar disorder really do deserve love, just like anyone else. We truly are worthy of love.

Some people would argue that people with bipolar disorder are destructive and abusive, and thus should be stayed away from and absolutely not be in loving relationships. But here’s the thing, there is no evidence that people with bipolar disorder are destructive and abusive en masse. So much research has been done into bipolar disorder and it just doesn’t show that. And even if someone with uncontrolled bipolar disorder acts a certain way (and yes, it can be destructive sometimes), people with controlled bipolar disorder simply don’t act the same way. No one is perfect and no one doesn’t leave some kind of destruction in their wake at some point in their lives, it’s true, but there is nothing to say that someone with a controlled mental illness is any more likely to do that than anyone else.

And as for people who have personally had negative experiences with a person with mental illness, please remember this: we are all different. Some people with bipolar disorder are going to be assholes — just like everyone else. Some people with bipolar disorder are going to be angels — just like everyone else. But you can’t generalize your experience with one person to all of us. That is faulty thinking. Yes, it’s faulty thinking we all can fall victim to, but it’s faulty thinking we all must fight. Each person deserves to be judged on their own merit and not on a medical issue that they didn’t ask for and is not their fault.

And let’s not forget, bipolar disorder is a medical illness of the brain. This does not affect one’s ability to love or be loved any more than a brain tumor, brain injury or seizures would.

Remember, People with Bipolar Disorder Deserve Love

So if you have bipolar disorder, please remember that you are not broken. There is nothing inherently wrong with you. Bipolar disorder isn’t a character flaw. Bipolar disorder isn’t a moral weakness. Bipolar disorder is an illness you were unlucky enough to get, that’s it. People with bipolar disorder deserve love. People with bipolar disorder are worthy of love. Say these things to yourself until you believe them. That will make the likelihood of love in your life all that much more likely.

And finally, if you don’t have bipolar disorder and have the incorrect thought that people with bipolar disorder don’t deserve love, please realize that you are prejudging and hurting a group of people millions strong. We may be different, but we’re no less deserving of your time and love, but by discriminating against people with mental illness, you may be less deserving of ours.