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Living with the Shame of a Suicide Attempt

Posted by Natasha Tracy | Mar 10, 2014

I have attempted suicide. This is not a fact that I wish to wear on my sleeve. This is not a fact a want on my resume. This is a fact that I wish was shoved in a trunk, thrown in a closet and locked away for all eternity.

And I think that most people who have attempted suicide feel the same way. There are many reasons you might want to forget but one of them is the shame associated with a suicide attempt. Many people around you and you, yourself, might consider attempting suicide shameful.

We get the notion of shame from those around us. Imagine looks of scorn if someone happens to belong to a religious community that considers suicide a sin and has no compassion for those who have attempted it. Imagine embarrassed parents forbidding their children to wear short sleeves so that the scars on their wrists are never seen. Imagine the person arriving home from the hospital, after a suicide attempt, not to a welcome home party but to pained silences and looks of pity and contempt. These are the realities that people who have attempted suicide face. And do we feel shame about what we’ve done? Many of us do.

What You Need to Know When Your Loved One Commits Suicide

Posted by Natasha Tracy | Mar 3, 2014

I have written a lot about what to do before, during and after a suicide attempt. I guess that’s because the people who are here on my blog are the survivors and the loved ones, mostly, of suicide survivors.

But there’s a very underserved community in conjunction with suicide and that is the loved ones left behind by suicide. They are suicide survivors too. These people are left with a void. These people are left with a hole in their hearts and a hole in the information that’s available. But there are things I think you should know if your loved one commits suicide.

Suicide Survivor’s Story Aims to Save Others

Posted by Natasha Tracy | May 13, 2013

Today, the Bipolar Burble blog welcomes guest author Kevin Hines, a fellow mental health advocate. Kevin is one of only 33 people who have survived a jump from the Golden Gate Bridge. I met Kevin recently at a conference and I can tell you, his story is incredible and he uses it to help others.

I always try to remember that life is but a state of mind and if that state of mind can be altered by an imbalance of chemicals, it becomes extremely hard to function. After all, I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder when I was 17 years old. Since that day, I’ve come to learn that life literally is a state of mind, and how, without the love and support of friends and family, life would be a lot more difficult.

I am so thankful for the support of family and friends who have helped me whether the hard times at are inevitable when one has– like I do – a mental illness. With all the years that have passed since I attempted to end my life by suicide, I have learned that we all make mistakes in life, but now it is time to put the past where it belongs, in the rear view mirror. We cannot control the future, but we can help one another – and ourselves – today and every “today” that follows.

After My Bipolar Disorder Diagnosis at 17

After my bipolar diagnosis I struggled, suffered, and attempted to understand the metamorphosis I was going through. I hoped that it was just a phase, maybe I was going to “grow out of it.” I was going through the motions of trying to find the right medications for my particular kind of manic depression. Some days the medication would feel like it was working, but on others, it would not.

Driven to Suicide

This lasted until I was 19-years old when thoughts of suicide unfolded. I wrote a suicide letter and the next day, I prepared for another day of classes at City College in San Francisco. But that was a blatant lie, even to myself. This morning my plan was to go to the Golden Gate Bridge to end my life.

I Want to Attempt Suicide but Not Die

Posted by Natasha Tracy | Jan 7, 2013

OK, I understand that a suicide attempt is not a suicide attempt if the end desire is not death, but stick with me here, I have a point.

Believe it or not, I get a lot of searches on this site by people searching for ways to attempt suicide and not die (their words). And while many people may find this unbelievable, I don’t actually think it’s all that uncommon. I think many people make suicide attempts that are less about death and more about screaming for help.

Suicide and Suicide Attempt Resources

Posted by Natasha Tracy | Sep 10, 2012

Over the last couple of years I have written a lot about suicide. It’s a big topic and one of great importance to the mental illness community and, I believe, society at large. As today is World Suicide Prevention Day I wanted to present a round-up of all the suicide and suicide attempt resources I have written over the years.

Please use these to help others or help yourself. Not one more person ever needs to die of suicide.

Suicide Prevention

Why Should I Continue to Fight the Pain of Depression?
Suicide Warning Signs You Should Know – Part One and Part Two
What to Do if You Start to Feel Suicidal
Some People Will Commit Suicide No Matter What You Do?

Thinking About Suicide

Suicide Threats

Suicide Attempts

How to Support World Suicide Prevention Day

Posted by Natasha Tracy | Sep 9, 2012

September 10^th is World Suicide Prevention Day and I, for one, am thankful. I’m thankful there’s a group called the International Association for Suicide Prevention that is out there promoting World Suicide Prevention Day. I’m thankful that an international group is taking the time to address this incredibly important subject.

Worldwide Suicide Statistics

I won’t bore you with pages of suicide statistics, but when you think about suicide prevention, consider this:

Data from The World Health Organization (WHO) indicates that 1 million people die every year of suicide worldwide
There is one death by suicide every 40 seconds
There are more people lost to suicide than to homicide and war combined
Suicide ranks as the second leading cause of death worldwide among 15-19 year olds
More than 100,000 adolescents die by suicide each year worldwide
Highest rates of suicide are among those age 75 and older
Up to 90% of people who take their own life have a psychiatric disorder

Suicide is a major problem in the mental illness community, to be sure, but suicide is really everyone’s problem as it’s estimated that there are 20 times the number of suicide attempts as there are suicide completions. If you haven’t been personally touched by suicide yet, you will be.

Suicide Prevention

But World Suicide Prevention Day isn’t about dwelling on the suicide statistics. World Suicide Prevention Day is about working on preventing those 1 million deaths. And as I’ve stated before, I believe suicide is entirely preventable and we, as a society should strive for a zero percent suicide rate.

What to Do If You’ve Just Attempted Suicide

Posted by Natasha Tracy | Aug 8, 2012

This, honestly, isn’t a topic I thought of myself, but in my search log, it turns out that many people are searching for “what to do if you’ve just attempted suicide” and ending up here. On the one hand it saddens me to think of these people who have attempted suicide reading these words, but on the other hand, it is very positive that someone who has attempted suicide is reaching out in whatever way possible.

So, if you have recently attempted suicide, I welcome you. Thank-you for seeking this out.

Suicide Resources on Facebook

Posted by Natasha Tracy | Jul 31, 2012

As I wrote yesterday, many people post suicide threats on Facebook and I have recommendations for how to handle suicide threats on Facebook or other social media. However, there was something I was not aware of – features right in Facebook to report suicidal content. There are actually several features right in Facebook to help with suicide or self-harm posts on Facebook.

What to do if a Person Threatens Suicide on Facebook

Posted by Natasha Tracy | Jul 30, 2012

Facing Suicide Threats on Social Media

I’m pretty connected on Facebook, Twitter and on social media in general. I have to be. It’s important for my career.

And as such I have almost 20,000 followers on various platforms. This is a whole lot of people to be exposed to on a daily basis. And due to my profession, I run into many people with mental illness on my Facebook, Twitter and other feeds. And sometimes the people on these feeds are in distress. Distressed to the point where they threaten suicide.

But what do you do if someone threatens suicide on Facebook, Twitter or otherwise?