A Glimpse Into Hypomania

Posted by Natasha Tracy | Sep 2, 2010

I do stream-of-conscious bipolar writing here sometimes. I like it. And actually, other bipolars generally respond quite well to stream-of-conscious writing as well. I have found, though, that those without mental illness are left somewhat dumbfounded. Or, at least, that’s the impression I get from the lack of feedback. Stream-of-consciousness writing is tough to get if you’ve never been in that type of consciousness. Hypomania. Crazy.

I Do Stream-of-Conscious Bipolar, Hypomanic Writing Anyway

Nevertheless, I insist on doing streamed bipolar writing anyway. I’m obstinate that way.

And I really think hypomanic stream-of-conscious is illuminating, particularly for those with no experience in it. It really helps to give a glimpse into a moment of life in my brain. So for HealthyPlace I wrote, Hypomania Means Never Having to Make Sense.

Take a gander. Let me know what you think.

Hypomanic Morning Means A Devastating Afternoon

Posted by Natasha Tracy | Aug 25, 2010

This is not of the quality you typically find here. Sorry.

I knew I was hypomanic because yesterday I couldn’t sleep.

Not sleeping. Waking multiple times during the night. That’s hypomania.

I’m sleeping too little, eating too little, producing too much and feeling too OK; that’s hypomania. It makes you brilliant and insightful and creative and magical. It also makes me completely fucked up.

The hypomania is probably from being on Pristiq and Welbutrin together. That’s a long story.

Bipolar Disorder and Remission

Posted by Natasha Tracy | Jul 25, 2010

I’m not sure that remission is something we will all get to enjoy, as bipolars. And the remission from depression, the remission from hypomania, the remission from bipolar we do experience seems to be a very watered-down version of the lives we want, the lives we deserve and certainly the lives we’re promised by doctors and treatments. So if remission isn’t all it’s cracked up to be, what is remission in bipolar disorder?

Are You Bipolar? Do You Have Bipolar Disorder?

Posted by Natasha Tracy | Jul 12, 2010

When you think of mental illness, bipolar disorder, do you consider yourself to be bipolar or do you think of yourself as someone who has bipolar disorder? Just like: Bipolars have mood swings vs. people who suffer from bipolar disorder have mood swings. (I also think I’m crazy, and no, I don’t think “crazy” is derogatory necessarily.)

HealthyPlace Writing Clears Up Bipolar Confusion – I Am Bipolar

Personally, I say I’m bipolar all the time. I don’t have a problem with “being bipolar.” I know some people do dislike this concept for psychological reasons though, so on Breaking Bipolar there’s Are You Bipolar, Or Do You Have Bipolar Disorder?

Do Others Want You to Deny You Are Bipolar?

Posted by Natasha Tracy | Jul 9, 2010

It’s pretty common to deny you have bipolar disorder, before, and even during diagnosis of bipolar disorder. None of us wants to be sick, and none of us wants to be crazy-sick (sick-crazy, crazy and sick?). And it can take us a long time to come to terms with living with a mental illness like bipolar disorder.

Deny You Have Bipolar Disorder?

But sometimes, worse is the fact that those around us want to deny, or want us to deny, our bipolar disorder. They want us not to talk about bipolar, or to “control the symptoms of bipolar” or they just don’t believe in mental illness or treat it like a disease at all.

So earlier this week I wrote a piece at Breaking Bipolar about Bipolar and Denial. (Hint, I’m not for it.)

It’s Scary to Show People Bipolar, and Not Just Tell Them

Posted by Natasha Tracy | Jun 28, 2010

There are two types of writing I do about bipolar. The first type talks about being bipolar, what it’s like, information around it and so on. It’s generally not overly emotional. The second type is written from the point of view of my bipolar, period. It’s not therapied or controlled or softened.

And that second type really bothers people.

Showing People Bipolar Disorder

It has happened many times over the years that people have come onto my blog and gotten upset at my very “real” writing. Often bipolars tell me it expresses exactly how they were feeling and they are grateful. Others though, complain that I’m illogical, need help, and am just generally crazy. They want to yell at me, for expressing the sickness. Yell at me for showing bipolar disorder as it is.

So today on HealthyPlace I write some more about showing someone the bipolar versus just telling them about it.

How To Get Off Pristiq or Reduce Pristiq

Posted by Natasha Tracy | Jun 26, 2010

Now I’m not a doctor, in fact, I don’t even play one on TV, but I wanted to share a little about me and how I’m handling getting off of, or at least reducing, Pristiq.

Please also read: When to Get Off Antidepressants with Bipolar Disorder

Antidepressant Pristiq – Easy On, Not-So-Easy Off

I’ve been talking the antidepressant Pristiq (desvenlafaxine) for months and it doesn’t seem to be doing much, but honestly, the withdrawal from Pristiq is so bad I didn’t want to attempt getting off of it. As you might know, Pristiq is a metabolite of Effexor and Effexor, another antidepressant, is also a nightmare to get off of. If I would miss a Pristiq dose by even a few hours I would become suicidally depressed. Really. No joke.

No Taper Strategy for Pristiq

So getting off of Pristiq wasn’t on my short list of fun things to do. There is no taper strategy for Pristiq as it only comes in 50 mg and 100 mg tablets and you cannot cut them.

How I’m Getting Off Pristiq

But I seem to be successfully reducing the dose of Pristiq with minimal impact and withdrawal.

Are bipolars crazy? I am. It’s OK to be Crazy.

Posted by Natasha Tracy | Jun 10, 2010

I am crazy. I tell this to people in my personal life. It’s not a secret. I figure there’s no point in trying to cover it up; it’ll come out eventually. I’m crazy. The approximately 20 scars on my forearms rather give away that something is amiss.

But people really don’t like the word “crazy”. In fact, most often, what people say to me is, “no, you’re not!”. Well, actually, I am. I have a mental illness, I’m bipolar and I’m crazy.

more at Breaking Bipolar: Are bipolars crazy. I am.

Bipolar Natasha Tracy’s Interview with HealthyPlace

Posted by Natasha Tracy | Jun 9, 2010

Here is today’s interview with me, Natasha Tracy, complete with call-in questions. I think it went well. We discussed some of the negative impact bipolar has had on my life. I talked about bipolar disorder, depression, suicide, coping and how my writings at HealthyPlace have been controversial.